when mrs lee had finished reading this letter she remained for some time quite silent looking out into square below the morning had come and sky was bright with fresh april sunlight she threw open her window and drew in soft spring air she needed all purity and quiet that nature could give for her whole soul was in revolt wounded mortified exasperated against sentiment of all her friends she had insisted upon believing in this man she had wrought herself up to point of accepting him for her husband a man who if law were same thing as justice ought to be in a felon's cell a man who could take money to betray his trust her anger at first swept away all bounds she was impatient for moment when she should see him again and tear off his mask for once she would express all loathing she felt for whole pack of political hounds she would see whether animal was made like other beings whether he had a sense of honour a single clean spot in his mind

then it occurred to her that after all there might be a mistake perhaps mr

ratcliffe could explain charge away but this thought only laid bare another smarting wound in her pride not only did she believe the charge but she believed that mr ratcliffe would defend his act she had been willing to marry a man whom she thought capable of such a crime and now she shuddered at idea that this charge might have been brought against her husband and that she could not dismiss it with instant incredulity with indignant contempt how had this happened how had she got into so foul a complication when she left new york she had meant to be a mere spectator in washington had it entered her head that she could be drawn into any project of a second marriage she never would have come at all for she was proud of her loyalty to her husband's memory and second marriages were her abhorrence in her restlessness and solitude she had forgotten this she had only asked whether any life was worth living for a woman who had neither husband nor children was family all that life had to offer could she find no interest outside household and so led by this will-of-the-wisp she had with her eyes open walked into quagmire of politics in spite of remonstrance in spite of conscience

she rose and paced room while sybil lay on couch watching her with eyes half shut she grew more and more angry with herself and as her self-reproach increased her anger against ratcliffe faded away she had no right to be angry with ratcliffe he had never deceived her he had always openly enough avowed that he knew no code of morals in politics that if virtue did not answer his purpose he used vice how could she blame him for acts which he had repeatedly defended in her presence and with her tacit assent on principles that warranted this or any other villainy

the worst was that this discovery had come on her as a blow not as a reprieve from execution at this thought she became furious with herself

she had not known recesses of her own heart she had honestly supposed that sybil's interests and sybil's happiness were forcing her to an act of self-sacrifice and now she saw that in depths of her soul very different motives had been at work ambition thirst for power restless eagerness to meddle in what did not concern her blind longing to escape from torture of watching other women with full lives and satisfied instincts while her own life was hungry and sad for a time she had actually unconscious as she was of delusion hugged a hope that a new field of usefulness was open to her that great opportunities for doing good were to supply aching emptiness of that good which had been taken away and that here at last was an object for which there would be almost a pleasure in squandering rest of existence even if she knew in advance that experiment would fail life was emptier than ever now that this dream was over yet worst was not in that disappointment but in discovery of her own weakness and self-deception

worn out by long-continued anxiety excitement and sleeplessness she was unfit to struggle with creatures of her own imagination such a strain could only end in a nervous crisis and at length it came

"oh what a vile thing life is" she cried throwing up her arms with a gesture of helpless rage and despair "oh how i wish i were dead how i wish universe were annihilated" and she flung herself down by sybil's side in a frenzy of tears

sybil who had watched all this exhibition in silence waited quietly for excitement to pass there was little to say she could only soothe

after paroxysm had exhausted itself madeleine lay quiet for a time until other thoughts began to disturb her from reproaching herself about ratcliffe she went on to reproach herself about sybil who really looked worn and pale as though almost overcome by fatigue

"sybil" said she "you must go to bed at once you are tired out it was very wrong in me to let you sit up so late go now and get some sleep"

"i am not going to bed till you do maude" replied sybil with quiet obstinacy

"go dear it is all settled i shall not marry mr ratcliffe you need not be anxious about it any more"

"are you very unhappy"

"only very angry with myself i ought to have taken mr carrington's advice sooner"

"oh maude" exclaimed sybil with a sudden explosion of energy "i wish you had taken him"

this remark roused mrs lee to new interest "why sybil" said she "surely you are not in earnest"

"indeed i am" replied sybil very decidedly "i know you think i am in love with mr carrington myself but i'm not i would a great deal rather have him for a brother-in-law and he is so much the nicest man you know and you could help his sisters"

mrs lee hesitated a moment for she was not quite certain whether it was wise to probe a healing wound but she was anxious to clear this last weight from her mind and she dashed recklessly forward

"are you sure you are telling truth sybil why then did you say that you cared for him and why have you been so miserable ever since he went away"

"why i should think it was plain enough why because i thought as every one else did that you were going to marry mr ratcliffe and because if you married mr ratcliffe i must go and live alone and because you treated me like a child and never took me into your confidence at all and because mr

carrington was only person i had to advise me and after he went away i was left all alone to fight mr ratcliffe and you both together without a human soul to help me in case i made a mistake you would have been a great deal more miserable than i if you had been in my place"

madeleine looked at her for a moment in doubt would this last did sybil herself know depth of her own wound but what could mrs lee do now

perhaps sybil did deceive herself a little when this excitement had passed away perhaps carrington's image might recur to her mind a little too often for her own comfort future must take care of itself mrs lee drew her sister closer to her and said "sybil i have made a horrible mistake and you must forgive me"